Harvey J. Barr

In early 1950, Victor and Marguerite (Harvey) Barr awaited the birth of their second child to join their 7-year-old daughter, Sharon Avis Barr. On January 12th, they welcomed a son, Harvey James Barr, at York Hospital in York, ME. His parents named him in honor of his maternal grandfather Alfred James Harvey who had recently passed away.

Harvey was not fortunate enough to know his namesake, but his mother always told him, “Your grandfather would have loved you so much!”. Alfred’s picture occupies a place of honor in the dining room to this day. Harvey’s likeness to his grandfather is uncanny even though Harvey is of slighter build.

The family talked about the size difference between Alfred at 6’4” and his devoted wife Kathie at 4’9”. Even though she was tiny, she ruled the roost, and Harvey was afraid to cross her! In her later years her other daughter Avis and husband Edwin Sargent came to share her home on Emery’s Bridge Road, South Berwick. This was to be the place that Harvey, along with his sister, spent many days during his formative years while his mum and dad worked. 

The Emery’s Bridge community was a beehive of activity during the 50’s and 60’s. Many of the families had young men who had served the military in World War II. They came home, put the war behind them, rejoined post-war society, married their sweethearts and raised children, many of whom were Harvey’s pals.

Harvey’s father was one of those Army veterans. He met Marguerite, married her and they started their life together on Organug Road in York, ME. When Harvey was 3 and Sharon 10, they moved to a 2-bedroom house in the bend of the Great Works River on Emery’s Bridge Road. Because they were now close to their grandmother Kathie’s house, Sharon lived there full-time and Harvey part of the time. Such a wonderful way to grow up – 2 homes within walking/biking distance of each other.

Harvey and Sharon would walk through the door of Grammie Kathie’s house to homemade food aromas from the kitchen. This was the neighborhood gathering place for Harvey and his friends. There wasn’t anything these boys wouldn’t try; nothing was off limits! Just boys being boys. They didn’t stay inside very much; Grammie Kathie and Auntie Avis kept too close of an eye on them. T’was a lot more fun across the road and down in the pasture by the river! But the day Grammie Kathie passed away, Harvey was on duty.  He arrived at her house and would not allow anyone else to carry her, except himself. 

Harvey unfortunately was a sickly child, and at times the family, especially his mother, kept him in “a bubble”. He was in & out of doctor’s offices and hospitals for numerous ailments, causing him to miss out on what his friends were doing. His mother even insisted his doctor misdiagnose him. He wrote a letter to the draft board getting him a 4F deferment to keep him from being drafted. He said “Great, I won’t have to go to Vietnam!” Harvey didn’t know what his mother had done until some years later.

Harvey grew up in a God-loving family. He attended church and Sunday School in the Emery’s Bridge Meeting House at the corner with Hooper Sands Road. As a teen he participated in youth groups that occasionally collaborated with the group from South Berwick and Wells Christian Church up the road a few miles. That’s where he laid eyes on a dark-haired, dark-eyed young lady during the joint activities of the churches.

The only source of heat in the meeting house was the wood-burning stove in the back. At an early age, Harvey started helping Uncle Edwin Sargent light the fires every Sunday @ 6 AM. Harvey couldn’t have had a better role model than Uncle! He’d been paralyzed with polio as a child and worked as hard as two men even with an atrophied leg. Harvey said he was amazingly strong and never complained.

Uncle was a steady influence on Harvey using tough love, teaching him whatever he desired to learn, many things he didn’t think he needed to know and most importantly, didn’t coddle him. He taught Harvey to drive farm vehicles which led to his love of driving and speed.

After Harvey received his license as a 15-year-old, he drove Mum and Dad’s family car whenever it was available. When he damaged it multiple times, his dad told him he had best buy his own car, saying, “You’ll probably take better care of it”. He did – Harvey earned enough money to buy “HOT” street cars, usually new - no more driving “family” cars for him!

Harvey’s Dad co-owned Barr Brothers Greenhouse and Florist Shop with his brother Warren and worked full-time at Portsmouth Naval Shipyard. Harvey worked at the greenhouse doing grunt work, despising every minute of it, but wouldn’t have missed it for the world! All the York Village movers and shakers would come there at the end of the day, talk politics and tell war stories. Harvey listened avidly, becoming a war history lover in his teens.

While Harvey was in his early teens, Sharon married Lewis Newsky and together they welcomed three daughters Robin, Sharon Anne and Victoria. Harvey spent a lot of time with Lewis whom he revered like an older brother. They fished and target practiced resulting in Harvey becoming an excellent marksman like Lewis. He was drawn to law enforcement during this time, wishing to emulate Lewis who was a part-time police officer in Durham.

Harvey worked in the UNH fire and security departments on the campus directly after graduating from high school and stayed with his sister and her family sometimes. So now he’s a handsome young guy, in a uniform, with a “hot” vehicle on a campus full of intelligent, interesting young women. What’s not to love about that scenario?!

Even though a hellion on wheels himself, Harvey secured his first job as a policeman in Eliot in 1970. Now he could go fast and get paid for it. Oh Joy! Soon a patrolman opening occurred in South Berwick. He ‘pounded’ on the chief’s desk saying, “You need to hire ME!”. Lo and behold, the chief did. He was destined to be a first responder down to the core of his being. He was so serious about his responsibility, during his first week, he ticketed his brother-in-law Lewis for a broken taillight. And then ticketed his Aunt Avis for speed.

Over the course of his life, Harvey would work in law enforcement for a while and when the political winds weren’t blowing his way, he worked some civilian jobs as well. In his early years, those jobs included Davidson Rubber and undercover security for Value House. He was purchasing agent and office manager at Estes Manufacturing until it closed. The company made screw machine parts for companies such as Hussey Seating, which he regularly visited.

Harvey’s list of law enforcement experience is extensive. This writer is unsure of the chronology so will list alphabetically a few that haven’t been mentioned: DEA, both State of Maine and Federal. He spent some time in New York City, but most of his time was in Cumberland County Maine, especially Portland. His civilian friend Steve was often his sidekick in Portland. They both had long hair down on their necks, and fit right in. Steve says it was a little nerve-wracking going places with Harvey who had the only gun.

That brings us to Harvey’s time in Lebanon first as patrolman, then acting chief. It was a challenging area to patrol; lots of dirt roads and people trying to hide out on them. Harvey took over leadership of the department when the town council and the chief didn’t see eye to eye. Eventually Harvey fell prey to the same pressures as the former chief and was unceremoniously quit (or let go)!

Harvey decided he’d try joining the Army Reserve. He wasn’t sure if his health record would block him from joining the Military Police. The recruiter told him they would give him a medical exam to determine his suitability. Lo and behold they found nothing wrong that would have prevented him from serving 10 years earlier. When they reviewed his records, they found the letter from his physician. He quizzed his mother who admitted that she had convinced the doctor to write the letter.

Harvey went off to boot camp and then, because he was an active law enforcement officer, chunks of the training were deferred. After spending 3 years as an MP, another recruiter told him she thought he would look great under the drill instructor HAT. Maybe she was flirting with him. He performed exceptionally and eventually caught the eye of Leadership Academy. He was promoted and served the balance of his 12 years in that role.

Also, during that time, Harvey went to work as dispatcher at the York County Sheriff’s Office. This would eventually lead to him again putting on the uniform, strapping on a gun and jumping into a cruiser as a York County Sheriffs Deputy. He rose through the ranks, ultimately becoming Senior Patrol Sergeant and working the overnight shift. He said it was great to sneak up on people in the dark and surprise them. He could also drive fast without other drivers on the road. That contributed to his encounter with a moose on Route 202.

Harvey lived, the cruiser was a fatality, and the moose had to be shot. Because he was Military Police in the reserves, he was selected to become the liaison with Secret Service for presidential protection of George H. W. Bush. He was so proud of his top-secret security clearance.

From the 70’s and into the 90’s, Harvey became a 2nd dad to Kristi. True to his upbringing, he was very black and white with his rules and expectations. They have shared time together occasionally over the years, but both expressed regret these past few days that they had not reached out to each other more often. They loved each other despite their differences. Harvey softened somewhat and Kristi came to understand his point of view after having children of her own.

In the spring of 1997, after Harvey and his companion of 20 years parted ways, he started thinking about the dark-haired, dark-eyed young lady with whom he had spent quality time during their teen years. He wondered where she was, her personal circumstances and whether they might be able to rekindle “puppy love”. With the assistance of friends and family he learned she was now divorced, living in Wells and working at the Wells Shop ‘n Save. He frequented the store on his days off and finally spotted her at work on Memorial Day morning, behind the customer service counter.

Harvey who had all the confidence in the world and coolly dealt with all types of situations as a police officer, literally shook in his boots as he approached the empty counter. She was doing something at the back counter and told him in her best customer service voice “I’ll be right with you.” He waited patiently until she turned around. He nonchalantly said “Hi, how are you.” She replied, still in her welcoming voice, “I’m good, how are you?"

Harvey then kind of blurted out “you’re looking good!” Her red flags immediately went up, thinking do I know this guy, perhaps someone with whom I’ve spoken? He made the most momentous movement in his life by lifting his ball cap, removing his dark glasses and saying, “I’m Harvey.” She responded, “oh my God, Harvey, it is so good to see you!” After exchanging some pleasantries and catching up a little, he asked if she would like to go for dinner that evening. His euphoria took a downturn when she said she had a date that evening, but jumped back up when she said, “How about another time?” and offered her telephone number.

Harvey and Rita had not seen each other or spoken for 27 years, even though she had worked at Hussey’s during the 70’s and 80’s and his mother Marguerite was married to her uncle Stuart. One day during that summer, Harvey said to her “I think we should get married” and she retorted, “You haven’t even asked me yet”. He quickly did and in early September they were wed by Pastor Jepson, utilizing a Scottish wedding service, in the Emery’s Bridge Meeting House. It was like coming home for both; they just celebrated their 28th wedding anniversary – it was the best decision either of them had ever made!

In late 1998, Harvey was standing in front of the mirror without his shirt on, and while Rita  stood behind him, she noticed his skin coloring was yellowish. Without his tinted glasses on, the yellowing of the whites of his eyes was obvious also. Thus began a whirlwind of doctor visits, lab testing and procedures. He received his diagnosis of Primary Biliary Cirrhosis, caused by his immune system attacking the bile ducts in his liver, and was added to the National Liver Transplant List. Harvey drank his last beer ever on New Years Eve 1999.

For almost 7 years Harvey kept the disease at bay with medication, procedures and close monitoring and he stayed low on the list. In 2006 his liver started deteriorating faster and his condition worsened. He moved up the list almost daily, and by early December, probably would not have survived to the end of the year. On December 6th, he got the call to go Tufts Medical Center in Boston and had a very successful liver transplant.

Harvey had to stay in Massachusetts for four weeks of recovery from the collapsed lung he suffered after the surgery, followed by one week in a rehab facility. The silver lining was his skin color returned to his normal pasty white. He came home on his birthday at a whopping 115 pounds and as weak as a 2-day-old kitten but so glad to finally be home. He was incredibly determined to build his strength and was washing the dishes within a few days using his walker to help him stand. Incredible fortitude!

Following his transplant, Harvey made a slow and steady recovery as he took care of the house. He eventually worked at some non-law enforcement jobs: a disability claims investigator with the company G4S, which meant he travelled all over Maine and Eastern Massachusetts; and a 2010 Census taker, interesting but short-lived. He then interviewed for and was hired at the South Berwick Transfer Station. Hooray, he was now back on the SB town payroll!

He was eventually hired by Chief Dana Lajoie to be the Animal Control Officer. He was still a certified police officer so was able to quickly expand his usefulness above and beyond just “chasing loose dogs”.

I have written this as labor of love, but it has also been an agony of loss. I was fortunate to have known Harvey in both halves of his life, and even more fortunate to have shared the second half with him. Harvey made it possible for me to face my future, though somewhat uncertain, with some degree of security. Among many other things, I will always love him for that.

Harvey spent his final days surrounded by friends and family.  It really was a time to share stories; both repeats and new ones.  His hospital room was filled with lots of laughter, some tears, but unequivocal love.  As a true testament to the man he was, almost 100 people visited him at Wentworth Douglas, followed by his final two days at Hyder House.

Submitted by Rita Barr

Harvey was predeceased by his father Victor Barr, his mother Marguerite Stevens and her husband Stuart, his Aunt Avis Sargent and her husband Edwin, his sister Sharon Newsky and her husband Lewis.  

Harvey is survived by his beloved wife of 28 years, Rita Stevens Barr; step-daughter Kristi Grant and her husband Paul of Berwick, their son Nicholas and his wife Mehak, their daughter Allison and her husband Evan, and son CJ; step-daughter Marisa Boothby and husband Jon of Wells, Marisa’s son Kyler, his wife Abby and their son Leighton, and Marisa’s daughter Lindsey; niece Robin Newsky of Ossipee; niece Sharon Anne Gagne and husband Jon of Barrington, their daughter Katherine Anne, her partner James and their son Kain, and their son Jonathan; niece Victoria Parker and husband Charles of Alfred, and their sons Lachlan and Angus; and a large extended family.

In his last few moments on this Earth, Rita walked Victoria out to the exit door.  We believe he took advantage of the quiet moment saying to himself, “She’s not here, I can go now”.  When Rita was ready to leave, “He’s not here anymore, I can go now”.  One of Harvey’s final thoughts was a quote that General MacArthur said to Congress, “Old soldiers never die, they just fade away”. 

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